Clinical Psychologist Jennifer Wright rethinks anxiety from the inside out

I was taught that anxiety was largely a thinking problem – that if we could identify distorted thoughts, challenge unhelpful beliefs, and reframe our fears, we could relieve much of the distress that anxiety brings.

I learnt this during my university days, as many clinicians of my generation did. We were trained to help people “fight the bear in their head” using evidence-based strategies like cognitive behaviour therapy (CBT), exercise, meditation, and other stress management techniques.

I was so convinced this was the way to manage anxiety that I wrote an article for our website, back in 2012, stating that the bear is in our head:
https://chelseapsychology.com.au/index.php/library/36-anxiety-and-the-fight-flight-model

To be clear, the strategies I talk about in that article are valuable. They’ve helped many people to understand and manage anxiety more effectively.

But after years of sitting with people in distress, I’ve come to believe that anxiety is not simply caused by what we think – it’s something we feel. Anxiety lives in the body as much as, or perhaps more than, it lives in the mind.

I would now say this:
The bear might be in your head – but it’s your body that holds the key to safety.

Why the nervous system matters

Your nervous system is the command centre of your body – a finely tuned communication system that influences everything from your heartbeat to your digestion, your breath, your mood, and your ability to connect with others.

When it’s functioning well, we can move fluidly between states of alertness and calm. We respond to life, rather than react to it.

Under chronic stress, however, the nervous system can become dysregulated. We may feel more easily startled, anxious, shut down, or overwhelmed.

While our thoughts might race, they are not necessarily the cause of this dysregulation. More often, they are the result – a cognitive echo of a body that senses threat.

Soothing the nervous system is not simply helpful – it is foundational. It allows access to a deeper, more embodied sense of safety, from which thoughts, emotions, and behaviours can begin to shift.

Understanding Polyvagal Theory

The autonomic nervous system has long been described in two parts:

• The sympathetic nervous system – mobilising us for action (fight or flight)
• The parasympathetic nervous system – supporting rest, digestion, and recovery

Stephen Porges expanded this understanding through Polyvagal Theory, showing that the nervous system responds in more nuanced ways.

Rather than two states, there are three primary patterns, shaped by whether the body detects safety, danger, or life threat:

• Fight or flight – a sympathetic response that prepares the body for action
• Freeze or collapse – a dorsal vagal response, often experienced as numbness, dissociation, or shutdown
• Social engagement – a ventral vagal state of calm, connection, and relational safety

These shifts are guided not by conscious thought, but by neuroception – the body’s unconscious ability to detect safety or threat.

The social engagement system includes the muscles of the face, the tone of the voice, eye contact, and even middle ear function – all supporting connection and co-regulation.

When this system is active, we feel grounded and able to engage. When it is offline, reassurance and logic alone rarely bring calm – not until the body begins to feel safe again.

What helps?

Rather than focusing solely on thoughts, I now begin with the body. The aim is to gently support the nervous system out of defence and towards safety and connection.

This involves activating the ventral vagal system – the physiological foundation for regulation, resilience, and relationship.

Some practices that may support this include:

• Slow, deliberate breathing, especially with longer exhales
• Grounding through the senses – noticing texture, colour, sound, or scent
• Soothing rituals – holding a warm drink, walking barefoot, watching light move through trees
• Gargling, humming, or singing – stimulating the vagus nerve through the throat (and, as I often say, it is rather difficult to fight a bear while gargling)
• Gentle movement or stretching – releasing tension and reconnecting with the body
• Touch and co-regulation – a hand on the shoulder, a hug, or holding someone’s hand
• Shared human moments – eye contact, a kind word, a brief exchange
• Cold water exposure – for example, submerging the face (or body) in icy water for 15–30 seconds to activate the mammalian dive reflex.

These are not quick fixes. They are practices that speak directly to the nervous system in its own language. Over time, they help build the capacity to return to regulation more easily.

What I was taught – and what I now know

CBT, exercise, and meditation remain valuable. I continue to use them in my work.

However, I now see that approaches beginning with the body often create the conditions in which cognitive and behavioural strategies can take hold.

We cannot simply think our way out of anxiety when the body senses danger. But when the body begins to feel safe, thoughts often soften without force.

So yes, the bear may be in your head.
But your body is your strongest ally : not through resistance, but through presence, breath, warmth, and connection.

That is where healing begins.

Acknowledgements

This reflection draws on the work of Stephen Porges and Deb Dana, whose contributions have shaped contemporary understanding of the nervous system and its role in emotional wellbeing.

Their work continues to inform how I think, work, and write.

Jennifer Wright – August 2025